The milk coming out my nose thread

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rusticdog
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Re: The milk coming out my nose thread

Postby rusticdog Tue Jun 30, 2009 8:05 pm

Pierre wrote:RD, how old did you say you were? I will be honest and pushing close to 70 next year. So guess how much trouble I am having now :lol: . Something for you to look forward to. :devil :facepalm


Early 30s...so honestly I think I'll be in real trouble by the time I'm 40.
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mjp28
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Re: The milk coming out my nose thread

Postby mjp28 Fri Jul 10, 2009 4:42 pm

rusticdog wrote:This piece of feedback from the MailWasher Uninstall Survey made me smile, glad we screwed up someones day. Note he didn't write <expletive deleted> that's the forum swear filter in action :)

The reason(s) I uinstalled Mailwasher Free 6.3b:

Hard to use/confusing.

this is a bullshit program and IT DOESENT WORK!! ITS A PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!

You may contact me about this feedback.
COULD YOU PLEASE MAKE IT MUCH MORE CONFUSING????

WHY CANT YOU JUST MAKE IT SO IT TAKES YOUR EMAILS AND IMPORTS THEM AND AUTOMATICALY WORKS!!!

THIS THING SUCKS,,, I FOLLOWED IT EXACTLY AND IT CONTINUES TO SHOW "NO EMAIL ACCOUNT ENTERED".... BULLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


YOUR A <expletive deleted> LOOSER


I love those, you wonder if he/she have also problems opening milk cartons.

ALSO the "YOUR" a loser is a tipoff, maybe try "you're"? :oops:
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stan_qaz
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Re: The milk coming out my nose thread

Postby stan_qaz Wed Jul 15, 2009 3:38 pm

Thinking of the new version project. :-)

Six Phases of a Project:

(a) Enthusiasm
(b) Disillusionment
(c) Panic
(d) Search for the guilty
(e) Punishment of the innocent
(f) Praise and honor for the non-participants

-- Karla Jennings
I am not a Firetrust employee just a MW user.
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First rule of computer consulting: Sell a customer a Linux computer and you'll eat for a day,
sell a customer a Windows computer and you'll eat for a lifetime.
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mjp28
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Re: The milk coming out my nose thread

Postby mjp28 Sat Jul 18, 2009 6:05 pm

Two blondes lock thier keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.

Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".
----------------------------------------------------------

Once upon a time there was a blonde with long hair, blue eyes, she was sick of all the blonde jokes.

One day, she decided to get a make over, so she cut and dyed her hair.

She also went out and bought a new convertible.
She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep.
She stopped and called the sheepherder over.
"That's a nice flock of sheep.", she said.

"Well thank you.", said the herder. "Tell you what. I have a proposition for you.", said the woman.
"Okay.", replied the herder.

"If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?", asked the woman. "Sure.", said the sheepherder.

So, the girl sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied, "382".
"Wow.", said the herder. "That is exactly right.

Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home."
So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car.

Upon watching this, the herder approached the woman and offered, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you".
"What is it?", queried the woman.

"If I can guess the real color of your hair... can I have my dog back?"
---------------------------------------------------------------

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor.
The doctor asked her "What happened?"

She answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang, but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."

"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But what happened to your other ear?"

"The person called back."
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mjp28
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Re: The milk coming out my nose thread

Postby mjp28 Sat Jul 18, 2009 6:06 pm

There was a brunette standing along side a busy road chanting "88, 88, 88, 88..."
A blonde came up to her and said, "That looks like fun, can I try?"

The brunette said, "Sure."

So the blonde chanted, "88, 88, 88, 88.."

"Well," said the brunette, "that is fun. But what is even more fun is if you say it in the middle of the street."

So the blonde said, "OK." and stood in the middle of the street. "88, 88, 88, 88-" BAM! she was run over by a car, completely flattened.

Along the side of the road, the brunette began to chant, "89, 89, 89, 89..."
----------------------------------------------------------

Q. Why do blondes take the pill?
A. So they know what day of the week it is.
--------------------------------------------------------

A plane is on its way to Detroit when a blonde woman in economy class gets up and moves into an open seat in the first class section.

The flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must sit in economy class because that's the type of ticket she paid for.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here."

After repeated attempts and no success at convincing the woman to move, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-pilot that there's a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her proper seat. The co-pilot goes back to the woman and explains why she needs to move, but once again the woman replies by saying, "I'm blonde, I'm beatiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here."

The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land. The pilot says, "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde." He goes back to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, "Oh, I'm sorry," then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.

"I told her first class isn't going to Detroit."
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Pierre
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Re: The milk coming out my nose thread

Postby Pierre Sat Jul 18, 2009 7:30 pm

Oh well here another then. :devil

The Blonde and the Lawyer
--------------------------


A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY.
The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch some sleep.

The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.
He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."

This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question : "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.

"Okay" says the lawyer, "your turn."

She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and co-workers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00.

The blonde says, "Thank you !" and turns back to get some more sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks : "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
IF IT AIN'T BROKE - DON'T FIX IT

I am only a ßeta Tester and getting older as well.
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rusticdog
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Re: The milk coming out my nose thread

Postby rusticdog Thu Jul 23, 2009 6:37 pm

Gotta love Photoshop sometimes....car being sold on auction http://www.trademe.co.nz/Browse/Listing ... =229732046
Hope no-one is on dial up anymore ;)....I attached images here as the auction site removes them after auction completes.

$1 RESERVE YELLOW MITSUBISHI MIRAGE

This vehicle is an ex workshop courtesy car.

Has been well looked after by all our customers (see photos).



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Pierre
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Re: The milk coming out my nose thread

Postby Pierre Thu Jul 23, 2009 8:03 pm

Nice post - brightened up a dull afternoon. :thumbsup :thumbsup
IF IT AIN'T BROKE - DON'T FIX IT

I am only a ßeta Tester and getting older as well.
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stan_qaz
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Re: The milk coming out my nose thread

Postby stan_qaz Fri Jul 24, 2009 4:56 am

For the tech support types...

From: http://thedailywtf.com/ (full post there has many more reports)

Not too long ago, the CTO at Dudley H.'s company had a startling revelation: there should never, ever be a need for technical support. If a client has an issue using one of their products, then the problem is most certainly in the product. Maybe the UI is a little confusing. Maybe it's not documented enough. Maybe the documentation isn't clear enough. Whatever the case, every client issue means that someone — be it the developer, tester, or helpdesk technician — didn't do their job properly and should strive to improve themselves.

Of course, the counterargument to the CTO's revelation, lobbied primarily by the helpdesk staff, was that many users are simply lazy, stupid, or lazy and stupid, and no amount of improvement could ever change that. Not that it mattered, though. The CTO was determined and set a new policy that all client issues were to have "problem/improvement" reports written about them, and that all reports were to be reviewed at the higest level. Being the loyal employees that they were, Dudley and his fellow helpdesk technicians began developing these reports.

-------------------------------------------------
ISSUE #88274
-------------------------------------------------
Client Issue:
"Has ANY person in your company ever Looked at or tryed to READ any maniual
man u all something like thet that it's funney even after 7 years I still
LAUGH any way some people like Ta know I mean Ya know!"

Problem Point:
We failed to provide the client with a version of their manual in garbled,
unpunctuated non-english.

Improvement Goal:
Many companies miss the garbled, unpunctuated non-english market segment
completely, and we should not be one of them. It's important to remember
that for every client that understands "Click the 'submit' button to save
your changes", there's another that only understands "klik tHe summit butt
on two SAVE yer changez ya know ya know".

(more at link)
I am not a Firetrust employee just a MW user.
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sell a customer a Windows computer and you'll eat for a lifetime.
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rusticdog
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Re: The milk coming out my nose thread

Postby rusticdog Wed Aug 19, 2009 9:15 pm

Image
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stan_qaz
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Re: The milk coming out my nose thread

Postby stan_qaz Fri Oct 09, 2009 5:12 pm

Form letter for folks with a "great" anti-spam plan, just add X's as needed...

==========================
Your suggestion advocates a

( ) technical ( ) legislative ( ) market-based ( ) vigilante

approach to fighting spam. Your idea will not work. Here is why it won't
work. (One or more of the following may apply to your particular idea,
and it may have other flaws which used to vary from state to state
before a bad federal law was passed.)

( ) Spammers can easily use it to harvest email addresses
( ) Mailing lists and other legitimate email uses would be affected
( ) No one will be able to find the guy or collect the money
( ) It is defenseless against brute force attacks
( ) It will stop spam for two weeks and then we'll be stuck with it
( ) Users of email will not put up with it
( ) Microsoft will not put up with it
() The police will not put up with it
( ) Requires too much cooperation from spammers
( ) Requires immediate total cooperation from everybody at once
( ) Many email users cannot afford to lose business or alienate
potential employers
( ) Spammers don't care about invalid addresses in their lists
( ) Anyone could anonymously destroy anyone else's career or business

Specifically, your plan fails to account for

( ) Laws expressly prohibiting it
( ) Lack of centrally controlling authority for email
( ) Open relays in foreign countries
( ) Ease of searching tiny alphanumeric address space of all email addresses
( ) Asshats
( ) Jurisdictional problems
( ) Unpopularity of weird new taxes
( ) Public reluctance to accept weird new forms of money
( ) Huge existing software investment in SMTP
( ) Susceptibility of protocols other than SMTP to attack
( ) Willingness of users to install OS patches received by email
( ) Armies of worm riddled broadband-connected Windows boxes
( ) Eternal arms race involved in all filtering approaches
( ) Extreme profitability of spam
( ) Joe jobs and/or identity theft
( ) Technically illiterate politicians
( ) Extreme stupidity on the part of people who do business with spammers
( ) Dishonesty on the part of spammers themselves
( ) Bandwidth costs that are unaffected by client filtering
( ) Outlook

and the following philosophical objections may also apply:

( ) Ideas similar to yours are easy to come up with, yet none have ever
been shown practical
( ) Any scheme based on opt-out is unacceptable
( ) SMTP headers should not be the subject of legislation
( ) Blacklists suck
( ) Whitelists suck
( ) We should be able to talk about Viagra without being censored
( ) Countermeasures should not involve wire fraud or credit card fraud
( ) Countermeasures should not involve sabotage of public networks
( ) Countermeasures must work if phased in gradually
( ) Sending email should be free
( ) Why should we have to trust you and your servers?
( ) Incompatiblity with open source or open source licenses
( ) Feel-good measures do nothing to solve the problem
( ) Temporary/one-time email addresses are cumbersome
( ) I don't want the government reading my email
( ) Killing them that way is not slow and painful enough

Furthermore, this is what I think about you:

( ) Sorry dude, but I don't think it would work.
( ) This is a stupid idea, and you're a stupid person for suggesting it.
( ) I'm going to find out where you live and burn your house down!
I am not a Firetrust employee just a MW user.
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sell a customer a Windows computer and you'll eat for a lifetime.
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stan_qaz
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Re: The milk coming out my nose thread

Postby stan_qaz Mon Oct 19, 2009 5:43 am

T-Shirts

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I am not a Firetrust employee just a MW user.
--
First rule of computer consulting: Sell a customer a Linux computer and you'll eat for a day,
sell a customer a Windows computer and you'll eat for a lifetime.
User avatar
stan_qaz
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Re: The milk coming out my nose thread

Postby stan_qaz Mon Oct 19, 2009 5:45 am

More Shirts:

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I am not a Firetrust employee just a MW user.
--
First rule of computer consulting: Sell a customer a Linux computer and you'll eat for a day,
sell a customer a Windows computer and you'll eat for a lifetime.
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stan_qaz
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Re: The milk coming out my nose thread

Postby stan_qaz Mon Oct 26, 2009 1:18 pm

SUVs owners are often castigated by tree huggers for their Earth-unfriendly lifestyle. A new book argues that pets are just as bad.

New Zealand authors Robert and Brenda Vale’s book, “Time to Eat the Dog: The Real Guide to Sustainable Living” is an exhaustive analysis of the environmental impact of common pets such as cats and dogs. The authors studied the carbon emissions created by pets, including the ingredients in their food and the land required to grow it. And the results don’t bode well for Fido, who compares poorly to that SUV. …..

“Owning a dog really is quite an extravagance, mainly because of the carbon footprint of meat,” Vale told New Scientist magazine. So what’s the “eco-pawprint” of your pet?
German shepherds: 1.1 hectares, compared with 0.41ha for a large SUV
Cats: 0.15ha (slightly less than a Volkswagen Golf).
Hamsters: 0.014ha (two of them equate to a medium-sized plasma TV).
Goldfish: 0.00034ha (an eco-finprint equal to two cellphones).

For more information, read the full article on New Scientist. http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg2 ... html?page=
I am not a Firetrust employee just a MW user.
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First rule of computer consulting: Sell a customer a Linux computer and you'll eat for a day,
sell a customer a Windows computer and you'll eat for a lifetime.
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AlphaCentauri
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Re: The milk coming out my nose thread

Postby AlphaCentauri Mon Oct 26, 2009 3:26 pm

Ah, but the transition communities people are putting Fido to work on treadmills to run machines in lieu of electricity or gas engines, and having Fluffy out in the field killing the rats and squirrels that might be munching on the locally grown organic produce.

I'm not sure on the data they're quoting for the carbon footprint of meat. Corn fed cattle raised in a factory farm (which has to find a way to dispose of massive amounts of dung) then slaughtered and shipped across the country in a refrigerated truck for human consumption is a whole different story than a dairy cow that ate grass in an uncultivated pasture (the existence of which prevented runoff flooding the suburban/urban areas downstream, and which consumed a lot of CO2 via photosynthesis) until it was too old to produce milk and which was then was sold for pet food.

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